As I ground into this new experience of life, becoming a father and welcoming my son, Luka, into this world, I've had a ton to process. When people talk about having their first child they say wide variety of things but I don't think most people talk about, maybe because they don't know how to put it into words, the depth of processing that needs to take place. There are truly so many layers to the stories of this magical, life altering event.
Processing layers of stories surrounding the shift to parenthood
- Physical Trauma
The first layer is the physical trauma that the birthing process takes on a woman's body. It is truly incredible what the human body is capable of but the recovery in the weeks after the birth (and I guess the entire 9 months of pregnancy) is something that takes time. I'm really proud of Sarah and how she is navigating this entire period of transition and her focus on eating healthy and taking care of her body as well as processing the experience into motherhood with such patience and grace.
- Disruption of Life
Introducing a child without a doubt, caused a disruption to our daily lives, within a matter of hours. And we wouldn’t change it for the world. But we went from solely caring for ourselves to...
- caring for another living human that is completely helpless
- the lack of consistent sleep
- changing countless dirty diapers
- trying to find some kind of routine that allows us to get into a flow (we still haven’t figured that part out).
- Grieving for an old way of being an lifestyle
Sarah and I both value our freedom and the ability to pick up and go do whatever we want, whenever we want, and that has been forever altered. Although we plan on traveling and creating our life in the way we want, that freedom that we loved so much has obviously shifted in a way that will never truly be the same.
There are countless other stories that we've been working through, and will continue to work through and process in the weeks, months and years to come, and I'm so incredibly grateful to be on this journey with the most incredible woman I've ever met. She inspires me everyday!
Surrendering to the shifts
The last couple weeks have been a weird flow of the deepest unconditional love we've ever experienced. We’ve been processing and letting go of old stories, patterns and ideas that have shaped us for so long, and stepping into and continually learning how to navigate the daily shifts taking place.
And then there's the warping of time that having a child brings up. It's only natural to start thinking about the future and what it looks like while raising another human and it's been wild to think about the next 10 years as Luka grows older. To me, a 10 year old seems so young, still a small child, but knowing about how much personal growth and change that can happen in a decade has been mind blowing. If I think about how much I've changed in the last 10 years, there's no telling the massive shifts that are going to happen over the next 10, and Luka will only be 10. CRAZY! Not to mention, what will our world look like at that time? So many changes and shifts are going to take place, all I can do is surrender, come back to the present, and enjoy all of the many lessons and experiences as they unfold before us.
Gratitude for this new life
All of that being said, I'm deeply grateful for this beautiful experience and I'm welcoming all of the many gifts, challenges and changes that are in store for all of us on this journey ahead. I knew that this would change my life forever but I'm humbled by all of the processing that needs to take place to fully step into the new way of being.
Something that's been on my mind over the last couple years, is how to make the world a better place, consistently asking myself the question "how can I best be of service?" And now, more than ever, I know how and what I'm being called to do, and how I can best be of service to this world.
It's the greatest calling I could ever undertake, to be a father and show my son what is possible through presence and love.
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